Why Caroline Flack’s Death Must Make Us Change
We cannot afford to remain the same.
Something is fundamentally wrong.
I was sitting with a glass of wine when the news of Caroline Flack’s suicide appeared on my phone. I was in complete disbelief that this amazing, successful woman had chosen to end her life at the age of 40.
Now is a time in her life when she is supposed to feel more self-assured than ever and secure in her own skin. I recently turned 41, and although I didn’t know Caroline or even that much about her, I have a feeling of deep sorrow and have felt like crying.
She was only just younger than me, and this is why this is so tragic. She had so much ahead of her.
I keep telling myself how irrational this feeling is, I didn’t even know her, but I can’t shake it because it’s just wrong. Three days later, this feeling remains.
I’m not a grief tourist, and I haven’t been devouring articles about her death, but what that has struck me profoundly is how we, as women, do not support each other enough. Nowhere near enough.
One thing Caroline said which I know will become part of her legacy is the beautiful phrase,
“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”
The day after Caroline’s death, I sent a text to a friend who I hadn’t heard from for a while and sent messages to friends to let them know how much they meant to me. I just wanted them to know how I felt and that if they needed me, I was there.
It’s not that they don’t know this already, but we forget, and we need to say it more. We stop talking about things because we think people will get fed up of listening to our problems, but I have never thought that about someone who needed my help.
We need to get better at making it clear that problems are not an inconvenience, we all have them and we can all help, even if it’s just to listen.
Be Kind
We are not kind enough to ourselves or others. How many times has the voice in your head said something to you that you wouldn’t say to your worst enemy?
How many times have we criticised someone’s appearance or judged them because they have behaved in a way that hasn’t met our standards?
We make snap judgements about people before we know anything about them and we’ve got to stop it.
Their experiences and their upbringing have a significant impact on their behaviour and reactions, and if we don’t understand what influences them, we can seriously misunderstand their motives.
The voice in our heads must also change. If we continue to think that we’re not worthy and undeserving, then everyone around us will have the same opinion because that is what we project to the world.
Empowered Women, Empower Women
We must empower each other and our children, so the next generation can grow up understanding it’s okay to be different, and there is always help available when needed.
Caroline was a sister, daughter, girlfriend and friend. We must protect those around us.
The social tide has to change. We have to stand united against those who bully and shame because it is not acceptable. The effect that our words and actions have on others is massive and cannot be underestimated.
Make Connections
Don’t wait to make that call or send that message you meant to send. There might be someone who really needs you.
We are all unique, and if we try and get to know others better, we can build acceptance and tolerance, one that reflects our diverse world.
We must stand up for those who are vulnerable and celebrate our uniqueness.
The more we build each other up, the stronger our foundations and the higher we can reach.
